Product Review: The Keurig B70 Platinum Edition Single Cup Brewing System: Or, my new religion.

I remember the Saturdays I enjoyed pre-child. As I woke up in my King-sized plush bed, perfectly coiffed and flawlessy made-up, I would yawn and stretch demurely before wandering into the kitchen and asking myself the age-old question: To bean, or not to bean? Also known as, "Do I want coffee today? What kind?" Then I would command my team of personal baristas to whip me up a frothy cup of deliciousness.

Well, that's mostly true. When you take away the bed, the hair, makeup, and baristas, that is.

But when A.D. (After Daughter) began, the question went from "Do I want coffee?" to "How quickly can I get this stuff into my system?" followed by a frantic shoveling of Sanka into whatever mug held the least mold cultures, usually resulting in 3rd degree throat burns.

Enter the Keurig. My Sweet Prince. My New Idol.

It features a programmable on/off time, numerous cup sizes, and a removable water reservoir and drip tray (for "easy cleaning", as if I engage in such futile tasks).

You put a K-cup into the K-cup holder (or, "thingy", if you're me). You push the button that says BREW, and in the time it takes for me to run the water while Novel-Daddy showers so that it appears as though I'm brushing my teeth, I have a cup of coffee. And not the 12-step, AA meeting variety. Good coffee. You can get K-cups in almost every brand, from Caribou Coffee to Newman's Own to Green Mountain. It also comes in tea varieties, which is usually not for me, but the B70 has an iced drink setting (yes, you read that correctly, a motherfunction ICED setting) which has converted me. Green Mountain also makes some pretty fabulous hot cocoa K-cups, which I use to caffeinate my daughter if I'm holding a grudge against Novel-Daddy.

No grinding. No filters. No burnt dregs. No mold cultures. No weak garbage "coffee". All in under a minute. And its pretty. A lazy person's dream.

Five Stars. Five, I say!