So here I am, recently graduated from college with a BFA in Art History--possibly the LEAST employable degree next to a BFA in Interpretive Dance--and instead of lazing about a parent's house, half-heartedly sending out resumes to potential dream jobs, I've suddenly found myself gainfully employed. As a stay at home mom. Or, to be irritating, a SAHM.
Needless to say, this is not what I imagined when I entered college 4 years ago. I imagined myself flitting into and subsequently taking the art world by storm, all while getting my Master's and PhD by the time I was 30.
Mr. Edwards (my boyfriend) got a (fairly) high paying internship with a game design company here in Austin, and I moved down here with our daughter after I finished writing my thesis. After about 3 days at home with the little one, I decided that I might need to either hari-kari or abduct our daughter and go someplace exotic, just to break the monotony.
I settled on trying to find a job.
I have very simple requirements in this department. First, any job I take has to pay more than the cost of childcare, or I'm throwing money away. Secondly, it can't be a job where I'm selling stuff. I'm bad at it, and I hate it. 20 resumes to 20 different Administrative Assistant jobs later, and here I am still, getting all dolled up (read: hair thrown in ponytail) for my trips to the HEB, and finding myself trying to have cogent, adult conversations with a two-year-old.
ME: "What do you think, Sona? Should we buy ground espresso or whole beans?"
SONA: "Boon, Mommy?" Boon being Two-inese for a balloon
ME: "You're right, I think the whole beans taste fresher, too."
Now I find myself faced with a dilemma. Staying at home can suck. It can be boring. It's hard work, doing all of the work of a maid, a cook, a nanny, an accountant, and a chaffeur for no pay. On the other hand, I've found myself entirely accustomed to the way Sona rounds the corner in her footie pajamas, her hair a disarray of little corkscrew curls. I find myself looking forward to the pre-nap stretch, when she climbs up on the couch and rests her little cheek against my collar bone and reaches up to grab a strand of hair.
Perhaps my reluctance is turning. If only I could have a conversation with anyone that isn't two or currently in a monogamous relationship with me.
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Girl, I hear you! I too am a SAHM (agh! dreaded acronym!) and was an art history minor/ art ed. major. I'm in my 30s though, so I had some time around the block before settling down to have a son last year.
ReplyDeleteIt does get majorly boring, keeping said child entertained and noting what his poop looks like today and when he did it. I miss my job at the art museum, which I left for motherhood. But I can't imagine going back there at the moment. I'd miss out on too much.
Come visit my blog sometime...we can chat away the boredom! :)